McCain, Palin decry "got your nose" journalism

Republican Presidential candidate John McCain joined his running mate Sarah Palin at a press conference today, chiding the media for the "got your nose" journalism tactics he alleges Palin has been subjected to lately. Following a devastating series of interviews with CBS anchor Katie Couric in which she could not name a specific magazine or newspaper she has ever read to keep herself abreast on current events, Palin became further confused when she sat down for an interview with NBC anchor Brian Williams.

"My friends, this is just another example of the liberal media exhibiting their 'got your nose' journalism," said McCain. "This is not the way to treat a couple of mavericks."

The incident in question occurred when Palin was unable to specify for Williams how many stripes were on the American flag.

"You know, Brian, we need to shore up the stripes because you never know when the stars might rear their heads, and that's why I'm here to shake things up in Washington, because for too long the stripes and stars have been running the show but I'm here with new ideas and a new energy and I'm going to change all that. 110%"

In an attempt to elicit a response that one could at least spin as "sensical" or, barring that, grammatically correct, Williams then asked Palin what color she believed the White House to be, before eventually trying again by asking her what sound a doggy makes. Palin responded to these questions with a long string of jumbled campaign slogans, catch phrases and generalities, ultimately insisting she'd look into it and get back to him. At that point, a visibly frustrated Williams reached out and in a swift motion, clasped his hand in front of Palin's face and proceeded to tell her that he had successfully removed her nose, waving his thumb tucked between his middle and index fingers as proof that he, in fact, "got" it.

McCain chastised the media at large for the incident, stating "My friends, how can they expect my running mate to be able to focus on answering simple questions when she's been coerced into believing she's just been the victim of facial mutilation."

Palin then took the mic and proclaimed her profound relief that her nose was still intact, citing her faith in God as having kept her nose safe.

The Obama campaign issued a statement shortly after the press conference condemning the media's focus on Palin's nose and declaring Palin's face "off limits" to political attacks.