'Joe The Plumber' To Wed Madonna

Worried Fiance's Fortune Could Raise His Taxes

Cleveland, OH - Recently divorced pop icon Madonna shocked the world Tuesday by announcing she is engaged to wed Joe Wurzelbacher, the Ohio man who recently shot to superstardom as McCain campaign mascot "Joe the Plumber."

Madonna, whose marriage with British action film director Guy Ritchie came to a bitter end just last week, was spotted entering a Cleveland nightclub with the unlicensed plumber on Monday night.

A source close to the couple confirmed Madonna, who over the years has been romantically linked to heavy hitting cultural icons like Sean Penn, Warren Beatty, and most recently Yankee third baseman Alex Rodriguez, was drawn to Wurzelbacher when his name was dropped over two dozen times at last week's presidential debate at Hofstra University.

"She was naturally interested in Joe following the debate," said publicist Micah Lazarus, "Anyone who is important enough on a global scale to be referenced over two dozen times by the two candidates vying to become leader of the free world is naturally going to generate some romantic interest. Besides, bald is the new black."

According to the source, the ubiquitous media coverage of Wurzelbacher and the incessant reference to him by the McCain campaign has led Madonna to believe that 'Joe the Plumber' is the most significant thinker in modern American history.

Wurzelbacher, meanwhile, spoke candidly about his elation over the whirlwind engagement, but expressed his concern that Madonna's vast fortune could lead to his having to pay higher taxes under the Obama plan.

"Under Mr. Obama's tax plan, if I want to marry a pop icon and sex symbol with a net worth of $850 million, I'd be penalized by paying higher taxes than I do now. I just don't think that's right. Penalizing a man for pursuing the American dream of marrying the Material Girl is un-American. Sounds socialist to me."

Madonna's agent would neither confirm nor deny rumors she is currently working with Wurzelbacher on Plumb, a follow-up to the 1992 controversial best-selling book Sex, which would depict numerous "provocative uncloggings."